Bronze Beta VIP Archive for September 24, 2002
Warning! Possible Spoilers!!
- Drew Goddard says:
(Tue Sep 24 02:52:53 2002)
- Okay, gotta get going. But real quick – if I missed any of your posts and/or called you “Vamp Willow” when your name is “Vamp Harmony,” I’m very sorry. It’s nothing personal, I’m just a little slow.
Puckles – you didn’t think I was going to forget you, did you? C’mon, where’s the faith in ol’ U.D.? Thanks for the info.
Dachelle, you are my right hand. I shall call my lawyer friends and see if they have any good leads. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, thank you for all your support. You are my finest.
Thanks everybody for chatting with me. Hope you like the premiere.
And now, a final address for my faithful, beloved Minions:
Faithful Minions, it is I, your leader. As I look over you today, one word springs to mind: “Magnificent.” Our ranks grow daily. Soon our power will reach epic proportions. This is excellent.
But there is work to be done. People to recruit. Clandestine meetings to be scheduled. Secret code words to be figured out. Young minds to subvert. Things about me to praise.
Nobody said this would be easy. But damnit, there’s no other group of people on the face of the Earth that I’d want to be down here in the trenches with me.
Keep the following things in mind:
1. You are my Minions. As my Minions, you represent me at all times. So make sure to always act cool. Like I do.
2. As Minions, you will find that people treat you differently. This is because you are better than them. Don’t hold it against them if they resent you.
3. But also, don’t take any crap from anyone.
4. If you ever get a flat tire, try to make someone else change it for you. You’d be surprised at how much weight my name carries.
5. We have a secret handshake now. Make sure you learn it. If you need to, practice on a mannequin or a small, unassuming man. Or a priest of some sort.
6. The Glory that is me can change the world. Especially if that Glory is talked about loudly and belligerently at parties. One person at a time, that’s our motto.
One person at a time.
Ultimate Drew
^ - Drew Goddard says:
(Tue Sep 24 02:15:56 2002)
- Is it clear, for those of you unfamiliar with Sixteen Candles, that we are running our hands through our own hair and not the person’s hair whose hand we were going to shake? Because that would be embarrassing.
Dachelle – yes, we must slaughter lots and lots of goats. However, we need to make it clear that this organization is nothing like a fraternity/sorority. Nothing at all. It’s much more like an evil criminal organization hellbent on world domination.
Okay, now what kind of law do you want to practice? You’re in Texas, right? Do you want to stay in Texas this summer? I may know some people. How are your grades?
Thoin – Whoa, whoa, whoa… I haven’t forgot you. I could never forget you. I don’t really wear golf caps, though. But don’t worry. I got you covered: “Drew hands tattered Van Halen Fair Warning Tour t-shirt to Thoin.”
I still don’t know how to do italics.
Impaler General – Damnit, I know you asked me some good questions, but I can’t find them anymore. Damn this scrolling. There has to be a better way to do this. Oh well. The answer to your question is “42.” And it’s good to see you again. Oh wait – here it is. You were asking about the Emmys. Screw the Emmys. We don’t need ‘em. It was good to see John Spencer win, though. I love that John Spencer.
That’s a fun fact about Drew, right there.
Vamp Willow – throwing yourself at my feet screaming is encouraged. Pass it on. And how did you know I was the hottest male writer on Buffy? Have you been talking to my mom and/or Jane Espenson?
Bufidiot – don’t be shy. We’re all good friends here.
Kathypg – yeah, I’m cool with being naked. I mean, give the people what they want, that’s what I always say.
Molly – sweet original Molly. You never forget your first, you know. How are you?
Yoshi – thank you for the pie. You know, I think my aunt is dating a guy named Yoshi. Is that you? If so, nice job. My aunt is hot.
I’m gonna have to go soon.
^ - Drew Goddard says:
(Tue Sep 24 01:30:38 2002)
- Dachelle! Sweet christ, it’s good to have you here. Of course I’m not ignoring you. There’s like a scrolling lag time – it’s hard to keep up. How are you, my lovely? You know, we don’t talk enough about you. How is school? How’s life? What’s going on with you these days? How can I make your life easier?
Good Lord, I have a lot of Minions. Excellent. I hope you all still want to be my Minions after my episode airs. Ah, who am I kidding? Dachelle, we’ll have to beat them off with a stick.
Get a stick ready.
I’ve been thinking about it – I think we need a Minion handshake. And it should be secret, but that’ll be hard to do with everyone here watching us. Okay, so everyone who’s not a Minion stop reading right now.
You know that part in Sixteen Candles where Anthony Michael Hall goes to shake his friend’s hand and then just runs his hand through his hair instead? That could be our Minion handshake. When we see each other we’ll do that. And then we’ll smirk and look around like we’re better than everyone. What do you guys think?
^ - Drew Goddard says:
(Tue Sep 24 01:02:34 2002)
- Are you all excited about our premiere? I hope you guys like it. Hell, I’ve already seen it and I’m still excited about it, so you all should be freaking out right now.
Go ahead. Freak out.
I’ll tell you, it sucks that I know what’s going to happen, though. The one bad thing about working for Buffy is you can’t avoid spoilers. That, and David Fury always trying to make me sit on his lap.
Comteacher – that looks like the sort of thing I’m not supposed to read, so I will respectfully decline. However, if they let me be a Buffy writer, they’ll let anyone, so fret not, little one.
Tralf – I want my figure to be naked. Naked Ultimate Drew – c’mon. Right, ladies?
Blackmagickbitsy – what’s this about saving the Bronze? What’s going on?
Xanderella – hey, where do you get your information? You’ll get nothing outta me, by God. Well, okay, go ahead and pencil me down for 7.5. But that’s it! You’ll get nothing else. I also love Doug Petrie, by the way. Isn’t he just the best?
Halfrek – sweet, dear Halfrek. As always, a pleasure. Man, everyone wants pictures of me these days. Am I really that good looking? Let me just see…
Yep. I am.
Artie – hey! How you doing? A contest where we see who knows more about Buffy, me or the fans? Sounds great! Don’t see how that could go bad.
Corsa_am – so wait, they shut down the UPN site? That’s weird. Ah, well, screw ‘em. Let’s all hang out here anyway. This place is cooler. All UPN site refugees, welcome. C’mon in. Good to have you.
Amarra – thank god you’re here. I always just miss you too. Sit tight – we’ll do some Minion business here shortly.
Hi dogtrot.
^ - Drew Goddard says:
(Tue Sep 24 00:38:17 2002)
- Well, I don’t have pictures from my ep for you guys, but I did write down some funny things I heard on set while we were filming. Here are a couple I thought you might enjoy. (Be careful, though. There may be some spoilers here. I don’t know how to use the spoiler font. I’m very sad about this.)
Some things I heard on set:
“No, no, no – there’s a smaller guy somewhere. A guy with a two-pronged spear.”
“I said a TWO-pronged spear!”
“A rubber onion doesn’t hurt as much as a regular onion.”
“WE HAVE A MOUSTACHE THAT’S COMING OFF!”
“Maybe we should give him a good washing.”
“I wish we could get more blood. Blood, blood, blood, blood, blood. Blood.”
“Please get Drew away from my chair. In fact, have him leave the room altogether.”
“Just let it go. Chickens are gonna do what chickens are gonna do.”
“Is that Abraham Lincoln?”
And my personal favorite exchange of the shoot:
“Oh Lord, I don’t know what the hell he did.”
“Okay, where is he?”
“Right over there, holding his rear end.”
^ - Drew Goddard says:
(Tue Sep 24 00:08:51 2002)
- Hey -- how do you play Fantasy Buffy? Do we like draft characters from the show and then bet on who's gonna die? That seems like the sort of thing I could clean up on...
^